I had no idea how free we can be.
I want to travel to these places in my mind. In the synapses, the spaces in between. Magic school bus shrink me down and take me through the plasma and marrow to the core of my Being.
What makes one tied, binded, attached to the choices she hasn't made. Nothing is an illusion. There's always more to grow.
It's good to know. It feels good to know. Now I am free.
What if you want something so much that you push it away? Do not want for not. What the Fuck does that even mean? I want it badly. And I will do what it takes to get it. Plain and simple. Oh yes, it will be mine.
My alarm goes off at 7am pretty much every morning.
It starts off with a sniffle near my head and slowly progresses to a kind of whimpered exhale.
I am awake, but I may or may not acknowledge.
If I don't pay proper or satisfactory recognition, suddenly there is a jump and a thump and I am joined in bed by a 40 lb tripod Jesus and either Scorpion or Lobster.
Wake up! They say. We have to pee and its time to start your day!
(Scorpion can't actually relieve himself, but he partakes in the ambush anyway)
Buhhhhhh, yes, yes, its dawn. A new day. I stretch, he streches, we all stretch.
I yawn. He yawns. I contemplate going back to sleep. He army-crawls a bit closer to my head and rolls around a bit so his body weight and positioning leaves me no drift-back-to-sleep room.
Damn. I'm awake. His soft fur and warm body make me smile. He knows he's won. He pounces on Scorpion and gives an excited snort of triumph, throwing his head back. Is he laughing at me?
Oh-kay-... The words have barely left my mouth and he is leaping off the bed and scrambling for the back door.
Hurry, hurry, he squeals. There might be a squirrel in my yard and I'm going to bark really loudly at it! His giddy grin from across the room forces an audible laugh from my belly.
I throw the covers back, giving them a little shake to expell any residing dog hairs. (He's really not allowed on the bed)
Another day has begun with Jesus warming my heart. I am grateful for his daily wake up mission. He is a special and very loved dog.
Easter is Sunday and I cannot help wonder how my morning alarm and the resurrection of Christ can be twisted into some funny dharma for my class on Sunday. I'll have to play with that.
Maybe I will make Jesus an Easter basket...
TJIF!
Spring is here... A time of new beginnings...
So I make my magick egg :)
I dye it blue for Peace and Serenity, and fill it with a citrine crystal, cinnamon chips, and bay leaves for Prosperity and Healing. I seal it with red wax for Love. It lays on my alter, a symbol of birth, life, creation and creativity, of new beginnings.
Darkness hovers. The early dawn sends invitation: it is time. We are ready to begin. As I strike my sceptre into the ground, a bright sparkling golden light shoots from the bottom of my staff into the ground, bringing fertility to the earth and sprouting new life beneath me. The top of my wooden staff radiates a beautiful glittering aura, encircling myself and all those near and dear to me. I gently arch my back, tilt my head, and gaze up to the heavens in gratitude; bending over, I scoop up a handful of soil, placing one hand over the other, cupping the cool moist earth, giving my blessings for the coming season. As the soil falls back to earth between my fingertips, I Rise, empowered by the Divine Light to embark on this new adventure. The fire of light surrounding me pulsates with each breathe, swirling and thickening as it reaches the corners of me.
I breathe deeply. And breathe again. This place, this now, this life, is perfect. Complete. There is nothing more that I require. My feet grounded, my sex satisfied, my belly filled, my heart open, my breathe quality; my vision is clear. This is the beginning.
And so I begin . . .
She floats above me in the distance,
her pink chiffon dress fluttering in the winds of time.
She smiles warmly,
I smile back, not knowing but trusting.
Who she is does not matter,
her story must be heard.
I am surrounded by pastel sunrise colors and filled with vibrational joy,
her memories implanted in mine as we share the laughter of a joke told long ago.
I don't want this to end.
But I feel my world pulling me back,
my life gently tugging on the rope to let me know its time to return to my dreams, my head, my bed.
I steal one last grateful gaze at her essence, her story told, her life affirmed.
She fades as the ceiling comes back in to focus. And then she is gone.
But her vibrations remain. Etched into my cells fast and forever.
Floating pink chiffon.
Is shower flossing
an efficient multitasking habit?
Or am I just
wasting time,
wasting water?
Dip your toes
Test the temperature
Dive right in, go for a swim
The water is still
But the waves, choppy
Constant change, never the same
A container
And space
Vacant, and occupied
A soul's windows
Pull you deeper
Beneath the surface, she lies
What journey calls?
To the Pacific
Into your eyes
You know that feeling? Yeah, you know it. Those New things that make your heart beat faster and your nerves energize. Your mind fogs and your eyes fail to focus on anything else. Your gut is a little woosy, in a good way. You're so excited about each little moment, and you cling to words, touches, gestures like they were precious gifts. So much to take in! So many details to remember!
They say the best things in life are free... Well, the best things in my life are New. New moments like this. New times like these. New people like you. Newness.
Bright, Shiny, Sparkling Newness!
Not to discount Oldy, But Goody. OBG is just as important; safe, reliable, comfortable, There. But the thrill of Newness often outweighs the stability of OBG.
Newness is interesting, intriguing, inviting. But Newness is blindingly bright and can blindside. And begs for attention.
Do not let the sparkle fool you, there is so much relying on that gleam. So much banking on the glitz. Know that behind every Newness there is OBG waiting.
Newness appears when you least expect it. Out of the blue, poof, its New. Newness is a gift from the Universe because you needed it.
See what Newness can hold for you, what lies within it. Explore the Newness for what it is and isn't. Love the Newness. It loves you!
Move On blinked the snail to the badger.
Be on your Way called the rabbit to the hawk.
Carry on... the wind told the ocean.
Push forth! shouted the Captain to her ship.
Please Continue, the tree asked of its roots.
Relax. You're doing the best You. My father once said to me.
Move On, wayward traveller. Move On, broken heart. Move On, dear friend and lover.
I release you. I forgive you. You are free.
I feel as though I've been blindly gripping the ear of an elephant in the room. Muttering softly to it and myself stories of moments passed and fading memories.
All the while gazing into your eyes...Your sweet, loving eyes.
Wait, I see my reflection there... and... it frightens me!...
Who have I become in your eyes?
So, do I
Change who I see reflected?
Or
Change my Perspective?
Change is inevitable. All things change! Even the elephant. Some days he hears me, some he just listens.
Why resist what we cannot prevent, delay, or ignore? Why, even the butterfly surely must think she's dying before her great transformation.
I look again. I am both persons. The reflection and the witness.
I see again. I love and accept myself exactly as I am right now.
In this moment, everything is perfect. In this moment, I am perfect.
In this moment, everything is nothing.
In this moment, nothingness is perfect.
Perfectly nothing everythingness.
I am.
strange how two extremes can bring such balance. opposites. differences. crave one, moments later yearning for the other. to seek the middle ground is lost, trapped between two beautiful things wanted so badly. extended arms grasp at nothing but air, realizing seconds too late that what wants was never even there. tall dirty drifts. endless deep green ridgelines. concrete, ash, dirt, grey. silence broken by chaos dipped in caramel. I return again and settle between my two extremes. happy to know the differences, wisdom smiling in my heart.
Lyrical poetry is out for the time being, and something that is called rap or hip-hop is in. It is still poetry, and we can't live without it. We need language to tell us who we are, how we feel, what we're capable of — to explain the pains and glory of our existence.
I settle into the solitude of my mind, peace falls over me like a deep blue mist in an enchanted forrest. I sink into the moment. My body melts away as I become one with the divine. All light within me gives way to darkness. Filled, saturated with wholeness I am the night. We are one.
dedication shouldnot be taken lightly. when we commit to something, someone, or someplace, we establish roots that dont easily pull up. Knowing that you are exactly where you should be, doing exactly what Universe has planned for you, fills you with peace, love, and reason. a reason to live, to breathe, to be. trust the divine plan, strengthen your roots, create a solid core of commitment within you and allow it to flow over the edges, saturating all areas of your Life. PEACE
