i dont really know what to say at this point.



i feel very hurt -- not by you, but by my own stupidity.


i let my mind run away with a fantasy.


i feel hollow, an empty space that was recently full of excitement.

as disappointment fills my cup, once half full, to the brink of spilling over. and now i can see the rim of the glass, so thin and fragile, so vulnerable. that same rim that seemed just moments ago to be able to hold the entire world! to be strong, solid, confident.  

how could i allow this to happen? i didnt. my life is not in my control. this is the universe doing exactly what i need. everything happens for a reason, but the reasons dont burst this clear bubble of ugh that surrounds my head and gut, at alternating times throughout the day.

onward and upward! seize the moment! capture the flag! get back on that horse! run, dont walk! the world is my oyster... but i dont think i have ever eaten oysters. with that, where is my fucking pearl? i know. his name is Jesus. and tomorrow he will be seven years old. well, technically, 49. old man ;) 

this is my path. i chose to allow the infinite universe to guide me through the darkness. 

i am strong. i am beautiful. i am exactly where i need to be, doing exactly what i should. 

thank you.

give infinitely

"give, give and give, infinitely"

when you give you lose nothing at all for you have received life itself - the whole universe - without paying.

you are the unique son or daughter of the infinite universe; it creates, animates, destroys, and reproduces everything necessary for you.


if you know this, everything will come to you in abundance.

from Zen Macrobiotics, by George Ohsawa

Philosophy in the Orient is the heart of teaching the constitution of the infinite universe, the kingdom of heaven. Its sole purpose is to help woman to understand this constitution so that she can realize her freedom, happiness, and health for herself and by herself.

The conception of the world and life, the constitution of the infinite universe, is translated first of all biologically and then physiologically. This is a firm foundation of all religions of the Orient.

Without living by these principles, one cannot understand or gain strength from one's religion and its teachings, a fact largely ignored by Western theologies.

If religions as a whole have lost their authority through the centuries, it is because of the neglect or ignorance of this same foundation. Accordingly, peace, freedom, health, and happiness are vanishing all over the world.

Jesus said:

If ye have faith as a grain of mustard seed,
... ye shall say unto this mountain,
"remove hence to yonder place,"
and it shall remove;
and nothing shall be impossible unto you.

If you have faith, nothing shall be impossible to you.
If something is impossible to you, you have not as much faith as a grain of mustard seed.
Crimes, hostility, poverty, wars, and especially so-called incurable illness are all the end result of a lack of faith.

Happiness or unhappiness depends upon our behavior which is in turn controlled by our judgment. Faith is the solid foundation upon which judgment rises. 

Faith is judgment in infinity.

me an da buddha

buddha said, life is suffering.


i say, happiness is living.


DIVINE LIVING. everyday baby.

"Jesus' new look" dedicated to the strongest dawg on the planet

three is better than four...

unique! attention-grabbing! different!
even with one in a splint. ;)

the best things in life come along in threes...
sometimes they drift in with the breeze...

three has magical powers like wishes!
so his nose gets three sweet kisses...

number three is a prime,
and all things heal with time...

past, present, future, three is balanced,
stay strong, be brave, live valiant.

remember:
three is...

happy.
healthy.
safe.
better than four.


a mi JBR. amor y amistad por siempre. usted es mi roca, mi alegría, y mi chispa. te amo mucho.

im just a soul whos intentions are good

oh LORD, please dont let me be MISunderstood

aspen

hey you, look up

jus what do you see

let 'em know whatsup
who you really wanna be

chin on your chest
think youre the best


find your own tree
remember: look up
...jus BE

the strength within us

sometimes the hardest things come from the softest places.

when we least expect it, is when it arrives.


simple is not always easy.

and easy is not always difficult.

there is a middle ground, a grey area, for life.

this is where i choose to exist.
somewhere between the rock, the hard place, and heaven.




god and me, me and god, we are one.
i am divinity, presence, and bliss.
i exist not to be, but i seek to be to exist.
be happy.
dont worry.
the universe provides...

colors of love

love
red
love
roots
love
orange
love
life
love
yellow
love
power
love
green
love
love
love
blue
love
truth
love
purple
love
peace
love
infinity
divine
universe
god

tribute to fish

give a woman a fish; she will eat for a night.
teach a woman to fish; she will eat for life.

recently eating fish again.
time for fishing season :)
i like the idea that we can eat what we spend hours of energy trying to out-smart.
its a wonderful game, an ancient one, that only few still play, and fewer succeed with... and still fewer understand the complexity. fish are smart...

fish are strange creatures...
smart fish beautiful and intelligent fish graze the deep fish simply exist fish we mustn't keep. but fish are dee-lish! fish are rich fish radient scales shine and glisten smooth like polyester with sequins.

fish are like men, plenty.
fish are hard to hold, slippery.
fish become lies, stories.
fish measure depth, deeper.
fish beg for attention, compliment.


A fish made a wish.
A wish for a gift.
A gift of faith.
A faith so true.
A truth so pure.
A purity of wonder.
A wonder of beauty.
A beauty of a fish.
A beautiful fish made a wish.



thank you, fish.

last night

cold feet
warm hands

sheets of ice
curl like ribbon

days length
nights depth

thoughts fade
drift
fall
until tomorrow.

blog smile :)

well, hello old friend. so we meet again...

it is funny to re-read some things that i wrote so long ago. refreshing like a time machine.

i forgot about this blog i created until i read a blog by my naturopath and posted a response, bringing me back to this site and my own blog.

interesting...


this universe works in mysterious ways...

hmm... ill share my latest:


her heart is smiling!
it smiles when even
i cannot see it...
my heart hides its
smile so well, covered
from sight with a big, wide smile

my smile hides
my hearts smile
by a mile, but only
for a while, teeth
like tile, makes others
wanna smile

:)

think ill write again... ttfn
~thanks and love to the all providing universe :)
PEACE

new hope!

...i feel like i cant even use the word 'hope' without referencing Obama's campaign... but i do have a new hope after listening to Obama's acceptance speech on thursday at mile high stadium. he is truly an inspirational speaker - i cried a bit!
on wednesday, my brother and i, joined at different times for short stints by several friends, after the rage against the machine show (which was really really really siick) marched to the "freedom cage" at the pepsi center to support the protest of the war in iraq. the concert and the march were organized by iraqi veterans against the war.
i have to say that after listening to veterans who served tours in iraq (which certainly gives them the credibility to inform the people whats really going on) say that this whole thing is a big mistake...

my favorite cry that sprung out from us as we marched was: (one) tell me what democracy sounds like! (all) THIS is what democracy sounds like!! (one) show me what democracy looks like! (all) THIS is what democracy looks like!!
it was fucking awesome.

i also had a very interesting moving conversation with members of a black flag (anarchist) group. curious as to what their black flag and chants of "capitalism promotes war!" meant, i picked the flag-bearer to question... he responded to my questions with confusion and as enthusiastically as a child wanting to respond correctly to the teacher in order to get a gold star. although still blurry about their group, i certainly enjoyed walking with them - their clothes black and soiled, shouting angrily about the government and me, in my patchwork tye-dye skirt with a sign that read: drop beats, not bombs!

i dont think i will ever forget the march on wednesday. i hope that the president elect removes our troops from their occupation in iraq and sends them home to their families. :)

blog blog

:) I wonder if smiley faces are appropriate? Will my blog be taken seriously for attempting to effectively express emotion while spewing words into my fingers and hoping they are read as I intended?

Another thought on that note: writing and editing are found in different form in the Internet world; many new words and acronyms have been created by our new technologies like txt msging and IMing that don't necessarily follow traditional methods of the written word.
Also, isn't blogging supposed to be free and open and not bound by the same restrictions of the scholarly print world? I am new to this, but I think I am right...


I think I am right because online, in or on the Internet, the World Wide Web, is a world completely separate from that which we know now. Like the incredible differences between the ocean world and the land world, as is the physical world and the digital world.
Creepy.
This question then follows: In this new world, do we ground ourselves with constraints from the previous world?
I think we -- or at least I -- will begin in this new world with a foundation of past knowledge about grammar, punctuation, spelling, etc, and then quickly adapt my behaviors, beliefs, and actions to what is best in the Internet Environment.

for me, that means no capitalizing i ... in fact, no capitalizing much of anything unless it is felt at that time that it should be. words and sentences can become what they are - a stream of my consciousness in the Net world.

so this is it...

this is my first blog and blog site.. not sure if thats even what to call it, but whatever it is, its mine and it is sweeeeet.
normally, i would not venture into the blog world, but since i am here now, so is this blog.
thanks and goodnight for now... maybe i will write you again. :)